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Slam without pads to improve your sex life


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Shiiittttt. We all know the feeling. Possibly the worst moment is when you realize that your pads are in your bag because you couldn't be bothered to put them on. Or you've just taken them off. Pads are uncool anyway. Not bleeding is for losers. And it gets better, because as well as looking good, slamming hard without wearing any pads can significantly improve your sex life by creating extra erogenous zones on your knees, shins and elbows.

According to Robin Boutilier (p182 RE/SEARCH: Modern Primitives) several self-inflicted "fairly deep gashes ... had taken on a pleasurable sensual quality " once they had healed. A small price to pay? Are you ready to sacrifice the short-term satisfaction of pulling a move for some long term boy/girl* pleasure?

Remember: Hard Slams = Deep Gashes = Pleasurable Sensual Quality.


*boy/girl, boy/boy, girl/girl, whatever.

Keith McElhinney's nasty shins

 

By Mike from Nottingham.
Originally appeared in Old Soldiers and Scabby Dogs fanzine.