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Flatland Manifesto #1

Low Fat #4: Massholes

Schwinn: American Muscle

Standard: Style Cats

Nowhere Fast

over 30 minutes

I don't buy a whole lot of riding videos these days, partly because they're a lot more expensive than the old days, and partly because they tend to be good but not necessarily great. For a flatlander like myself, a really good video is hard to come by; all-flatland videos tend to be pretty good (though not all of them are), but I like to see good street and ramp, too. But personally, I tend to get kinda bored watching a million handrails or rhythm sections over and over and over in the same video.

So, being my usual cynical self, I was skeptical when I kept hearing how great Nowhere Fast was. I mean, so many reviews said simpy "Get this video!" Not really a whole lot to go on; for all I know, these are the same people that love Ells videos. But some recommendations from trusted sources convinced me to shell out the $25 for this one.

It was definitely worth it. First of all, Nowhere Fast is a professional-quality video: excellent camera work, editing, and music. That's often taken for granted — more than once I've seen great riding ruined by crappy filming. There's no flatland in this video; there's top-level skatepark, dirt, some vert, and the best street riding you've ever seen.

Riders featured in Nowhere Fast include Dave Young, Josh Heino, Mike Escamilla, Brian Castillo, Dave Parrick, and others. The tricks being done are nothing short of amazing/insane. There are tons of handrails, but not just plain old variations: crooked grinds, backwards rails, kickflips, manuals, jump-over-rail to grind, and some pretty high and long ones, too. Heino's now-infamous last handrail of the video will have your jaw hitting the floor.

And the crash sections in this video may do several things:

cause you to wince in pain;
make you appreciate how difficult and insane the tricks are;
inspire you to go ride;
make you never want to ride street for fear of dying.

Very entertaining and funny (in a horrible sort of way), although I'm surprised any of those guys are still alive. What makes a person try a trick a second time after almost losing their face the first time is a mystery to me — makes for good riding videos, though. Nowhere Fast is definitely one of those must-own videos.

trashvideo@hotmail.com

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